When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Go As Planned: My Journey Through Guilt, Growth, and Grace
One of the most emotional parts of my parenting journey has been breastfeeding — or rather, not being able to do it the way I had hoped.
I wasn’t able to breastfeed my baby due to having inverted nipples. I tried everything — nipple shields, breast pumps, even nipple pullers. Eventually, my nipples started to come out slightly, but my daughter still refused to latch. After several failed attempts, our doctor recommended formula milk. With a very heavy heart, I agreed, thinking it would just be for a week. But as days passed, we both slowly adapted to it.
When my daughter started crying due to constipation, that’s when I truly felt the importance of breast milk. That moment pushed me to buy an electric breast pump. It helped a little — I began giving her breast milk and formula in rotation. During the first three months, I stayed at my parents’ house and managed to pump and feed her once or twice a day. It was always bottle feeding, though.
That’s when the judgment began.
Whenever relatives or neighbors came to see my daughter, the first thing they asked was:
“Why are you bottle feeding?”
“It’s dangerous — her mouth will become too wide.”
“If she doesn’t take breast milk, how will she bond with you?”
“She won’t know a mother’s affection.”
These words were like knives. They hurt deeply. I cried almost every day, feeling like a failure — like an unlucky mother. I often wondered if my emotions were part of postpartum depression, but at the time, I couldn’t even put a name to what I was feeling.
Now, looking back, I can smile through those tears. Because I know — and my daughter knows — that love isn’t measured in ounces of milk. Whether she was fed by breast or bottle, she always knew who her mother was. No one — and nothing — can replace the love and comfort that a mother gives.
Breastfeeding is beautiful, but it’s not the only way to show love. To any mom struggling out there: you are not unlucky. You are doing your best. And that’s more than enough
A Note to Other Mothers
To every mother reading this — whether you’re breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, or doing a little of both — please know that you are not alone, and you are not failing.
Motherhood doesn’t come with one right way. Sometimes our bodies don’t cooperate. Sometimes plans change. But love? That’s always there. Your baby knows who you are — not because of how you feed them, but because of how you hold them, speak to them, and love them unconditionally.
Please don’t let anyone’s words make you question your bond or your worth as a mother. You’re doing the hardest, most beautiful job in the world — and you’re doing it with strength and heart.
You are enough. Your love is enough. You are exactly the mother your child needs.
